Saturday, May 30, 2009

How to make friends? "pity party of 1 please"

I have no freaking idea how to make friends anymore. I don't leave my house, that would be my first problem. The problem with that is I have no where to go so why leave. It's a double edged sword. I don't go to church, I don't have a job (that allows me to leave the house that is), my son goes to a daycare, but I don't ever see other moms, I don't know of any book clubs or mommy and me groups near by and even if I did everything is so far away from me it would take anyone I did meet an hour or more just to visit me or I them, unless they live next to me, but I've seen those people and that's not happenin. Maybe I'm just too cynical nowadays, I have been lonely for so long that I am petrified of rejection. I saw a girl once at my son's peds office and she had kids about the same age as Nate and I thought to myself..why not just walk up and say hey, can we be friends?...Then I thought about how lame that sounded and felt like I was 6 again.

Remember being 5 or 6 and going to kindergarten for the first time without knowing anyone, but because you're all the same age and the teacher is there to protect you it's easy to make friends. At the age of 30, it's not so easy, for me anyway. I am out of practice when it comes to friendships, I barely speak to the friends that I did have from Las Vegas so I'm really out of practice. Maybe this is life's way of saying I am not good enough for friends, but that can't be because I'm actually A LOT of fun and I have a huge heart and love people that don't smell bad, sorry if you're stinky I just can't hang with you I have a sensitive nose..but at this point, I honestly don't care! I just wish I knew how to make a friend and keep a friend.

Ok I'm done being this pity party....... If you know of any people that need a friend send them my way, I'm not this blah I swear! :).. here are some pictures to prove it!! These are pictures of me with friends I had in Vegas....


  1. So awesome to see pics of you.

    Don't worry girl. When the right friend comes along you'll know :) Don't waste your energy on the ones that might not give the right kind of friend your looking for :)

    LOve LOVE.

  2. I went through the same thing when my kids were small and I didn't even leave town. You tend to isolate yourself as a mother sometimes without realizing it.

    Then, I went back to school and met people, got a part time job and met people. When my kids got older and involved in school and outside activities, well, I have HAD to deal with more moms than I would like (lol) but I have met some really great ones a long the way and now we have formed a group of five of us that hook up from time to to time.

    Anyways, get out of the house. And things will happen slowly. Some of the people I went to school I don't speak to at all but they were fun at the time and the same with the part time job but getting out and having contact in the moment is also good and I did things with them at the time, also good. So, maybe instead of taking all on-line courses take one on campus, just a thought, if it is possible.
    Sorry for a long response.
    Good Luck!!!

  3. you young lady are the last person i would expect a pity party for. I am in the same boat as you are freind wise, so i say dont sweat it to much, anyway hope this makes you feel a little better and just remember friendship works both ways and i have been slackin lately, sorry, and you will always have me as a frind. Chris

  4. you young lady are the last person i would think needs a pity party. I happen to be in the same boat as you and i say dont sweat it to much. I have been slackin lately, no excuses for it but you are stuck with me being your friend, hope that makes you feel a little better and with that i will say bye for now. H&K, Chris

  5. I would suggest finding a place to volunteer around your community. Find something that means something to you. Like gardening? Join the recreation department for your town. Want to meet all sorts of people? Volunteer in a food pantry. Organize a cleanup for your local park (pass out fliers to your neighbors). Find a mom's club in your area. Find out where all the other moms go to walk, get your umbrella stroller out and go for a walk. Say hello to every mom you go by, asking a question (where did you get that stroller, it's so cute!). Volunteer to help out at the preschool - you'll meet all the moms!

    When I moved cross country, I thought I'd never, ever make friends again. And I didn't until I got my hiney out and put myself out there. Now know a ton of people and have super close girlfriends.

  6. You are way to hard on yourself. You are just in a transition from primary mommy back to someone who can do both (be with the kids, but make time for yourself) I would make a flyer for the moms at the daycare-whether I see them or not and offer to do dinner to "get to know them." Maybe ask the Caregiver to pass them along to a couple of moms that your child gets along well with and you can incorparate a playgroup into it. The Teacher can probably give you a good feel into who would enjoy that sort of thing or tell you when you could "bump" into them. Parks are good places to meet kids and their parents too.....Childrens museums....

  7. P.s....too bad your not in sunny paradise of Pittsbugh Pennsylvania......I kid, its not that paradise-y. =)then you could come have playdates with me and my kids.

  8. I feel ya on this! It's hard at any age. I joined an aerobics class thinking it would help but the women are way older and it's not working out with the ones that are my age. They already know eachother so I'm left "kicking rocks" like a six year old.
    Anyway, don't give up!

  9. You're right it is hard and it's weird realize you don't know how to do it anymore.

    And its harder. In school we all seemed to fit seamlessly into each others lives.. now its work.

    And sometimes Im just too tired


  10. I so appreciate your honesty! I think most moms of small children can relate to your feelings about loneliness. The truth is that it's hard to make new friends, especially if you've moved recently. We've moved a lot in the last 3 years--I feel it too.

    My theory on friendships is that most of us moms (of little ones at least) are not being open enough with each other about our needs. We're too busy trying to look like we have it all together:).

    Thank you for paving the way.