Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Strength..where does it come from?

I have been taking a positive Psych course for the last 8 weeks and for most of the last 8 weeks I have been a bitter betty. I would read my fellow classmates postings about how they are gaining so much insight about positive this and positive that and all I could do was make horrible scornful remarks in my head. I used to be the eternal optimist and slowly but surely life stuff happened and my optimisim has begun to go down the tubes. Which leaves me asking the question...when things get so SHI**Y and I just don't want to move and all I want is to cry for days and not move (I know I said that already), where does the strength come from?

My hubs lost his job last Thursday...the economy finally came and took the safety net away and my hubs was "laid off". I am now the bread winner at a whopping 9.00 an hour. Did I mention we have bills to pay and mouths to feed? We have been fortuante to have lasted as long as we did without suffering too badly, but now I am scared..like really really scared. Again, I have pulled strength from somewhere to get my happy butt up and out of bed and working to keep it together. Last week in my positive Psych course was the fostering HOPE week, I had to create a slide show presentation about fostering HOPE. How do you foster something that feels so far away? Well I did it somehow.

I am grateful for little moments in my past that will surface just when I need reminding of something, does that ever happen to anyone else? You're driving yourself crazy over something and all of a sudden you'll recall a comment or a conversation and it will magically put things into perspective....Well look at that I'm being positive for a moment... I guess it's still in me somewhere...